Before My Arrival: Money Issues

Remember that romance movie circa 2004 with the really bad acting that had anyone with two X chromosomes swooning for half its duration and sobbing the other? You know, the really, really bad acting?

That's right! "The Notebook"!**

Remember the line near the of the movie when Noah says to Allie:

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday."

I think it's about time I had a similar conversation with the contents of my bank account because money be disappearing left and right, yo. My relationship with money is far from romantic, and it generally doesn't spark any tears other than my own. Money has always burned a hole in my pocket, often times against my better judgment. My demise began with designer jeans. Seriously. This heaping pile of rotten money-owed-via-plastic nastiness began with a pair of Pink Tri-Color A Pocket Seven for All Mankind jeans that I wore twice and eventually sold for half their value. And so it began. Most line items on past statements have fared far worse fates (think donation pile--couldn't even find buyers).

Frankly, I'm tired of being in debt. I'm tired of this endless emotional game of buying things to appease some other unfulfilled part of my life (whatever that may be--it's soul-searching time!) From a practical standpoint, I'm tired of the balances sitting at a standstill.

So guess what?

I'm making a commitment to not shop for six months beginning in February.

Why February? Because I need to gear up for this exercise in restraint and also make a few small purchases in the mean time (like ear muffs and a new pair of gym pants). I was going to commit to a year, but that would most likely mean setting myself up for failure.

But wait! There's more.

Earlier this evening, after a small but tear-filled breakdown in front of my spousal equivalent (MTR) about life-related quandaries, I forked over my credit cards. The white flag has risen. I've officially surrendered. Fo' real this time.

I won't bore you with the details, but I fear a mixture of satisfaction and fear right now. My cards and excessive spending have been a safety net--against "what" I don't know. Embarking on a new path feels liberating and damn scary at the same time.

So about this six month shopping ban:

• Groceries obviously don't count
• Gifts don't count, either, though I imagine most people will be receiving gift cards or money to help me avoid retail establishments and/or online shopping
• Essentials will need to be replaced at some point (think toiletries and regularly-used items like athletic shoes), so I can spend money on those just so long as it's a legitimate replacement
• If the zipper on my winter coat breaks or my hair dryer gives out on me (or some other uncontrollable material misfortune), it's okay to go ahead and replace said item
• I'll allow myself the purchase of four bottles of nail polish, only because I need a little something to look forward to

This will be interesting, but much needed.

I'll keep you posted.



**No offense to anyone who loves "The Notebook." I cried watching it. I actually sort of like it. Whatever the case, you have to admit that the acting is bad.